He has been gone almost two years now. My dear beloved orange one. Love of my heart. I didn’t know I could love a cat so much. I miss him everyday. This poem came at the time of his death. I wanted to share it in honor and gratitude for all he gave me.

For Raj

This grief, in my body, is not tame
This grief is wild grief, it makes my bones feel heavy
And my heart hollow.
This grief of mine is not small or pretty
It is not concealable, its open wide.
How can it be that powerful love means powerful loss?
How can it be that to come and to go is built into the divineness of the one?
My grief has no room for philosophical platitudes.
It pounds on the door, whining.
It pleads for answers, again and again
While knowing there simply are not always answers,
And when there are, usually we don’t really like them anyway.
My grief consumes every square inch of my torso, my throat, my eyes.
It is too large to be boxed up for later
Too messy to be “to go” wrapped.
I must eat it now.
Right here, right now.
This is placed upon my plate
Remember- there are not always answers
Remember- this too shall pass….
And what will remain??
The love
It is all that ever was
Anyway.

THANK YOU RAJ, for loving me, for knowing me, for blessing me with the brightness of your spirit, and finally for teaching me about loss and separation. My cat guru..I am forever grateful.